The holiday season, with its emphasis on joy and togetherness, can feel deeply challenging for those who are grieving. Whether you’ve recently lost a loved one or are carrying the weight of loss from years past, the expectation to appear festive and cheerful can feel overwhelming. For many, it’s a time when the pressure to “put on a happy face” conflicts with the need to honour your grief. I can recall a time when I was grieving through the holiday period and I spent a majority of the time wishing the ground would swallow me up, forcing a smile and feeling like a puppet performing for those around me. It didn't feel authentic at all and what I was projecting externally was in no way a reflection of what I was experiencing inside. If you’re navigating this delicate balance, you’re not alone. Here’s how to set healthy boundaries and manage expectations so you can approach the holidays in a way that feels more manageable and authentic. 1. Acknowledge Your Grief The first step is giving yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling. Grief doesn’t take a holiday, and it’s okay to experience sadness, longing, or even anger amidst the tinsel and carols. You don’t have to suppress your feelings to make others comfortable. Reflect on what feels doable for you this holiday season, and give yourself grace if your emotions fluctuate. 2. Be Honest with Family and Friends Communicating your needs and limits to loved ones can reduce the pressure to perform or conform. Let them know how you’re feeling and what you’re capable of this year. Example : “I’m struggling right now and may need some quiet time during the day.” Example : “I’d love to join for dinner but might leave early if it feels overwhelming.” Setting these expectations helps prevent misunderstandings and allows others to support you better. 3. Set Boundaries Around Holiday Traditions Traditions can feel particularly hard when they remind you of your loss. If participating in certain activities feels too painful, it’s okay to step back. Opt Out : Skip activities or events that feel emotionally draining. Adapt Traditions : Modify or create new traditions that honour your grief. Example: Lighting a candle or setting aside a quiet moment in memory of your loved one. Your boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re essential for your healing. 4. Release the Pressure to “Perform” The holidays can come with an unspoken expectation to look like you’re having a good time, but grief doesn’t always align with these pressures. Remember: You don’t owe anyone a performance. It’s okay to decline invitations or excuse yourself from moments that feel overwhelming. Authenticity is more important than pretending to be okay. If you need a quiet space to process your emotions or take a break, do so without guilt. 5. Decide What Feels Right for You Grief affects everyone differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to handle the holidays. Consider what feels most supportive for your needs: Isolating vs. Connecting : If you feel the urge to isolate, ask yourself whether it’s healing or if gentle connection might help. Sometimes a smaller gathering with close, trusted friends or family can feel less daunting. Simplifying Plans : Reduce commitments and focus only on what truly matters to you. Your path is your own—choose what feels most aligned with your emotional needs. 6. Plan for Moments of Overwhelm Grief can strike unexpectedly, especially during festive gatherings. Prepare ways to cope: Step outside for a breath of fresh air or take a short walk. Have a trusted support person you can call or text if emotions become too much. Practice grounding techniques, like deep breathing or focusing on sensory details, to help calm yourself in the moment. 7. Honour Your Loved One Finding a way to include your loved one in the holiday can be comforting. Consider: Sharing memories or stories about them during the celebration. Creating a small ritual, like lighting a candle, setting up a photo, or making their favorite dish. Donating to a cause they cared about in their memory. Acknowledging their presence in your life can bring a sense of connection amidst the loss. Final Thoughts: Give Yourself Permission to Grieve The holidays can amplify feelings of loss, but you don’t have to navigate them alone or on anyone else’s terms. By setting clear boundaries and communicating your needs, you create space to honour your grief and protect your emotional wellbeing. Whether you choose to participate fully, adapt traditions, or step back entirely, remember that your feelings are valid. You deserve compassion—from yourself and others—as you navigate this challenging time. Above all, allow yourself to feel and grieve as you need to this holiday season. It’s not about “getting through it perfectly”—it’s about surviving in the way that’s healthiest for you. You've got this. Helen x

Hi there, and welcome to my blog. I’m so glad you’re here. Whether you’re looking for support, understanding, or just a little comfort, I hope this space feels like a safe place for you to land. A Little About Me I’ve always been drawn to understanding people—their emotions, their stories, and the unique ways they experience the world. Becoming a counsellor and psychotherapist felt like a natural path for me, one that allows me to be present with others in their most vulnerable moments. It’s a privilege I don’t take lightly. Over the years, I’ve worked with people facing a wide range of struggles—anxiety, depression, grief, relationship issues, identity exploration, and much more. Every story I hear reminds me how resilient and resourceful humans can be, even in the face of pain. My approach is rooted in kindness, respect, and a belief in your ability to grow and heal, no matter where you’re starting from. When I’m not working, I love mindfulness practices, journaling, and connecting with others—things that help me stay grounded and present in the busy flow of life. These practices inspire me, and I often share them with my clients and, now, with you through this blog. Why I’m Starting This Blog Sometimes taking the first step toward seeking help can feel overwhelming. Maybe you’re not sure if therapy is for you, or maybe you’re just exploring what support looks like. This blog is a way for me to meet you where you are—whether you’re looking for practical tips, emotional support, or just someone who gets what you’re going through. Mental health isn’t always easy to talk about, and I want this blog to be a space where those conversations feel safe, normal, and approachable. We’re all human, and it’s okay to struggle. You’re not alone in this. What You’ll Find Here I’ll be using this blog to share thoughts, insights, and resources about mental health, personal growth, and the things we all wrestle with from time to time. Here are some of the topics I’ll cover: 1. Anxiety and Stress We all know that tight-chested, racing-mind feeling that anxiety brings. It’s one of the most common struggles I see, and I’ll share ways to understand and manage it in your daily life, from grounding techniques to deeper explorations of what anxiety really is. 2. Depression and Low Moods Depression can feel so isolating, like you’re carrying a heavy weight that no one else sees. Here, I’ll talk about what depression looks like, how to recognise it, and ways to begin finding light in the darkness—whether for yourself or someone you care about. 3. Grief and Loss Grief is such a personal journey. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or even a life chapter, the pain can feel overwhelming. I’ll share thoughts on navigating grief, honoring your feelings, and eventually finding moments of peace. My particular field of interest is loss by suicide, and this again something that I will cover in my blog. As someone with personal experience of this I feel like it is not a topic that is discussed enough and that those who are left behind often feel isolated, judged and misunderstood. 4. Relationships and Boundaries Relationships can be a source of both joy and stress. Whether it’s romantic, family, or friendships, I’ll write about how to navigate conflict, set boundaries, and strengthen your connections with others. 5. LGBTQIA+ Experiences As someone who is deeply committed to creating an inclusive space, I’ll write about the unique challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ individuals, from identity exploration to navigating relationships and dealing with societal pressures. Everyone deserves to feel seen, respected, and supported, and this will always be a safe space for those conversations. Why This Space Matters I created this blog because I know how hard it can be to find reliable, compassionate information about mental health. Life is messy, and emotions don’t come with a rulebook. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else understands can make all the difference. I hope this space offers you that understanding. Maybe you’ll find a new perspective here, or a tool to help with something you’ve been struggling with. Maybe it will simply remind you that you’re not alone, that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. How You Can Use This Blog This blog is here for you. Maybe you’ll use it to dip your toes into the world of mental health. Maybe you’ll come here for specific advice or just to read something that makes you feel a little less alone. However you use this space, it’s yours to explore at your own pace. I’d love to know what’s on your mind, too. If there’s a topic you’d like me to cover or a question you’d like answered, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help, and your input helps me create content that really speaks to you. A Warm Welcome Starting this blog feels like opening a door—one that I hope will lead to connection, insight, and support. Life isn’t always easy, but you don’t have to face it alone. Whether you’re here to learn, reflect, or just find a moment of comfort, you’re welcome in this space. Thank you for taking the time to visit. I’m excited to share this journey with you and look forward to exploring the many facets of mental health and personal growth together. Take care, Helen x